Secrets to a Long-Lasting Relationship - BELLO K SOFIYAT

What is the secret to a happy and long-lasting marriage? Although this timeless question seems to pop up at every wedding, anniversary, and engagement party, it is still hard to pinpoint an exact answer.

Couples differ drastically, and even the best relationships require nurturing and care. If you’re young, in love, and wondering how you can “make it work,” turn to the happy older couples you know and ask them about the secrets to a long-lasting relationship. Seniors can provide wisdom and advice based on many years of experience.

Some tips am going to give below are important in every relationship but they are not the secret.

Communication:

If you can’t openly and honestly communicate with your partner, your relationship will suffer. Tell your partner what you want, what you need, what bothers you, how you’re feeling, etc. and ask them to return the favor. However, this doesn’t mean that you should say every thought that pops into your head: be respectful and kind as well. Effective communication can help you move past hardships as a couple, and it can also prevent minor issues from turning into major problems.

Compromise

In a healthy relationship, both people involved must make adjustments to accommodate the other person’s wishes. After all, if one partner gives and gives but never seems to receive anything back, they may feel resentful. You and your partner are independent, unique human beings, so you’re bound to disagree now and then. You must be willing to compromise, sacrificing some control for the health of the relationship. In addition, choose your battles carefully. Don’t have a major argument over something silly and ultimately unimportant

Connection

Great romantic relationships are built upon strong connections. Beneath everything else, there ought to be a strong bond involving intimacy, friendship, common interests, goals, etc. This connection should give your relationship energy and make you want to spend time together. So if your relationship feels a bit “off,” think about the glue that has held you together all these years. In addition, foster your connection by making time for each other, developing shared interests, and supporting one another.

Commitment

If you want a long-term relationship, both partners need to commit to that shared future. Commitment can be scary, but it is also tremendously important. When both partners are dedicated to making the relationship work, they can effectively move past both little problems (distribution of housework, control of the TV remote) and major issues (snooping into a partner’s e-mail, emotional neglect, etc), because they are committed to staying together.

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The four Cs (communication, compromise, connection, and commitment) are important, but there are many other factors that contribute to the health of an enduring romantic bond. Consider these additional secrets to a long-lasting relationship:

Focus on having fun and making good memories together.

Take on challenges and obstacles together, supporting one another throughout.
Cherish your partner. Don’t be afraid to be “the one who loves the most.”

Fight respectfully. Don’t be a jerk or call your partner names.

Trust your partner, and don’t give in to jealousy or insecurity.

Consciously make an effort to brighten your partner’s day.

Accept that both you and your partner will change over time.

 Here are the secret to a long lasting relationship.

Sacrifice is the mortar of our relationship
Close relationships also require sacrifice. In fact, many people include sacrificing in the very definition of what it means to truly love another person and indeed, research has shown that couples are happier and more likely to remain in their relationships if the partners are willing to sacrifice for each other. Sometimes that sacrifice can be life-changing, such as deciding to move to a different Country in order to be with your partner; other times it might be something small and seemingly mundane, such as seeing an action movie instead of the comedy you would have chosen.

Trust and respect. A sense of trust is present when each person feels safe to be open, honest and genuine. Respect helps build this through not judging or criticizing the other's opinions, feelings and beliefs.

Team approach. When tough times hit, try to remember you're on the same team. You either both win or both lose. Support each other and work together. Relationships are not meant to be a tug of war against each other. In fact, you both should be on the same side pulling against the world.

Commitments are the bricks of our relationship
When you and your partner are committed to the relationship, the union remains more important than your (and your partner's) individual needs. Without mutual commitment, deep trust will never take root and intimacy will wither. When one person's commitment is tenuous, the very nature of the relationship is weakened. A lack of commitment reduces the buffer that holds relationships together during times of conflict and stress. Imagine living with the fear that periodic slumps in your relationship can cause your partner to bail.

Commitment has a dual role in your relationship. You can view commitment as the vehicle to help deepen your love, and you can also view it as a safety net of sorts, a way to protect your marriage or relationship during the difficult periods that each and every relationship experiences. Commitment allows love and intimacy to mature over time. Someone who ends a relationship because the excitement of new love has diminished misses out on the opportunities that relationships bring for individual and mutual growth.

Commitment makes us focus when our vision is blurred
All couples (married and unmarried) face an enormous challenge: How to stay devoted to one another throughout the life of your relationship, even when early enthusiasm and euphoria naturally wane.

Some mistakenly believe that a commitment like "till death do us part" literally means locking yourself into a lifetime of potential unhappiness. No one should commit to a relationship that cannot meet their needs. Your needs (and your partner's needs) do matter and should be part of the overall commitment equation. But life and relationships are complicated, and there will be stretches of time when your partner does not meet your needs (and you will not meet your partner's needs). Commitment is what will get you through those rough stretches, enabling each of you to get back on track in meeting each other's needs once again.

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