What are the hardships we can be facing in life? - BELLO K SOFIYAT

What are the hardships we can be facing in life? 

I will mention 6 out of it:

1) LOSS

Without death, there could be no life. But that reality is hardly a comfort to those who have suffered the loss of a loved one. Loss is a piece of our One Suffering: everyone endures loss.

However, the chances are great that if you open up to family and friends — immersing yourself in the presence of others, rather than running away — you will hear their own stories of loss and hardship, and in understanding their similarities, will no longer feel isolated and alone. Hearing others’ stories creates a bond of shared suffering; although you do not want to know that others have suffered like you, there is some solemn comfort in knowing that we all share One Suffering.

2) HEARTACHE

As a 24-year-old guy, I meet many of young men and women who have endured terrible heartache. What I came to notice when speaking to so many heartbroken young adults is this: if we have endured but one bad breakup, we share heartache as part of One Suffering.

“Everyone,” I found myself telling friends, “who is our age and is single, has suffered from terrible heartache.”

The reason that we perceive our own heartache to be the worst out of anyone else’s, of course, is because the heartache has happened to us directly. With heartache, we have been hurt us so deeply and had our lives affected so severely. Focus less upon the differences of our emotional pain and recognize that everyone suffers heartache.

3) SADNESS

We take the anguish and pain of sadness for granted because we recognize that sadness is a natural human emotion and that every human being has felt, does feel, and will feel sadness in their lives. Sadness is a natural component of our One Suffering.

If you are dealing with sadness, anxiety or depression, share your feelings of sadness with others — whether friends, family, strangers, or a doctor or therapist. Expressing the emotional anguish that we are battling is often one of the very first steps to overcoming it.

4) FEAR

Every human being encounters fear. We fear the unknown, we fear what hurts us, we fear change, we fear what cannot be changed, we fear death. Fear is shared as a part of humanity’s One Suffering. We each encounter and must endure fear.

As President Roosevelt once said, “All we have to fear is fear itself.” Fear is nothing more but another emotion. When we reject fear as a form of personal agony or torment, and recognize that all human beings encounter fear in their lives, we begin to appreciate that fear is just another emotion that we can endure and survive by our choosing.

5) CONFLICT

Every human being will endure conflict. Whether the conflict is on a major scale (such as war), or a minor scale (such as personal arguments and confrontations), conflict is a natural cause and component of humanity’s One Suffering. However, we can overcome the personal emotional pain caused by conflict by communicating with others.

Instead of focusing upon our differences, intently reflect and discuss our similarities. Despite their physical and cultural differences, two people from opposing sides of the Earth can come together and bond over similar suffering caused by conflict.

6) FAILURE

A major cause of personal, emotional pain is failure — whether it’s a fear of failure or a fear of rejection, or the type of crippling insecurity and doubt that naturally result from failing and being criticized. We are bound to encounter failure and criticism in every aspect of our lives, from friendships and relationships to business and academics.

Failure should not be the cause of great personal anguish because everyone encounters and endures failure.

Although failure is not enjoyable, to say the least, utilize failure as the means to assess your efforts, energy and focus. Share (don’t hide) your failures from others — when you discuss your shortcomings, others will open up and share their own shortcomings. You just might learn how to overcome your suffering and use failure to your benefit.

How to deal with some hardships mention above :

• We’ve all been through difficult times. It may be the death of someone we love or suffering abuse with no one to help. In life, many events fly at us that are hard to manage. Many of us just suffer silently through the pain, not allowing anyone in. And even while we do that, we also know that is not the healthiest response. 

• Many patients come to me struggling with anxiety and depression. Most of them want to continue working and maintain the events in their personal life. No one truly wants to crawl under a rock and hide. We may feel like that at times, but truthfully, people want to feel better.

What can we do to cope with hardships?

• Acknowledge them. If someone is treating you poorly, recognize it for what it is. Stop making excuses for other people. This only allows the bad behavior to continue. If you’re in danger, get help. Don’t become another statistic.

• Speak up. If it is safe to do so, speak out. I see many people tormented by their workplaces. If you feel that your boss is truly evil, other people think so too. Discussing your concerns with others can help you make a plan as a group to deal with it, rather than everyone going home at the end of the day frustrated and spending your free time miserable.

• Examine what is causing your feelings. Are you putting too much at one time on yourself? As a mother, I know how hard it can be to juggle work and kids. Work needs you, the kids need you, and no one else is taking care of the dog except you. Is there anyone that can help? Maybe it is time to stop being the super-parent and feeling you must be strong enough to do it all by yourself. Everything has a breaking point.

• Make time for yourself. Find something you enjoy just for yourself. We all need outlets for our strength. It is OK to feel that we need breaks from our loved ones. Having a hobby or happy place can help make you less frazzled trying to meet the demands that are constantly being hurled at you.

• Exercise. Many studies now show that physical activity can actually reduce depression, anxiety, and even chronic pain. This can be your do alone thing or it can be a family event.

• Eat right. Many people like to drown their sorrows in junk food. Creating another problem (obesity, diabetes, hypertension, etc.) is not going to help us deal with our current troubles any better. In fact, over time, it will only add to them.

• Get enough sleep. When we are stressed out, sleep is often the first thing that gets sacrificed. We stay awake trying to solve our problems, or we’re just unable to sleep because our minds keep going. I see many patients coming for help because of symptoms caused by chronic sleep deprivation: fatigue, memory problems, headaches and many more. Being a life-long insomniac, I know this is much easier said than done. But, we need to take steps to try to sleep better. One intervention that seems to work for many people is simply putting away the electronics close to bedtime. Do we really need to see what people are posting on Facebook when we have to wake up for work in five hours?

• Ask for help. Anxiety and depression affect millions of people in the U.S., and a great many of those do not seek treatment. Many more are stressed or burned out. Mental health is just as important as physical health. As a country, we must acknowledge that because many people are not getting the help they need. People are often left to feel stigmatized admitting they have a problem.

• Stress is not just a fact of life; it can be down-right dangerous. More the burden others are dealing with. We’re all on this journey of life together.

         

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Bello. K. Sofiat